10 Oscar Predictions!

Not necessarily movie related.

1. Anne Hathaway and James Franco will have no less than five hilariously awkward co-host moments, probably relating to the fact that they're both tremendously beautiful people who aren't used to sharing the limelight. One of these will be a song-and-dance routine, in which Neil Patrick Harris will have a cameo. (Can we please just have him host next year? God, he would be SO GREAT.)

2. Anne Hathaway's dress will be Marchesa on the red carpet, but she will go through at least three costume changes. Probably more - one for every time she's on stage. (I really, really desire this to be true.)

3. There will be at least one 127 Hours joke made, but probably not by Franco. I'm betting on Ben Stiller, who needs something HUGE to top that Na'vi horror show he put on last year. I'm thinking fake blood and a ruined designer suit.

4. Hailee Steinfeld will look adorable, and will win Best Supporting Actress. It will be a fashion victory for all members of the Dakota Fanning School for Starlets. She and Jeff Bridges will probably have an awesome red carpet moment, where he gets to be fatherly and wise and she gets to be endearingly nervous.

5. Colin Firth will win Best Actor. Helena Bonham Carter will not win, but her dress will look like it walked off the set of Alice in Wonderland (which will then win Best Costuming). After his win the camera will pan to Geoffrey Rush, who will then get a shout-out from Firth for their historical bromance.

6. Rooney Mara will not be attending because of her costuming for Dragon Tattoo. Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield will be there, in tremendously adorable slim-cut suits, and (PLEASE GOD) they will pose on the carpet with Trent Reznor (who will then win for Best Original Score, a comprise a replay of what happened when "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" won Best Song for Hustle & Flow).

7. Toy Story 3 will win Best Animated Film and it will break my heart. (Seriously. Pixar must have an entire room for their statuettes by now. How To Train Your Dragon was better, Academy. They were both good, but Dragon was better. Please, please show me that you can be innovative and recognize artistic achievement that's not just a creature of habit. PLEASE.)

8. Benicio del Toro will be in attendance, but The Wolfman will not win Best Makeup (even though it SHOULD, oh my GOD, it was BRILLIANT). He will probably look strikingly like a werewolf.

9. Inception will not win any awards except technical ones, because the Academy has forgotten how to recognize truly brilliant science fiction. Leonardo DiCaprio may not even show up, but Christopher Nolan and Joseph Gordon-Levitt will look dapper and gracious and (hopefully) shame the Academy so that they think harder about their Director nominees next year. Marion Cotillard might get a red carpet moment with Nolan, and I hope she wears a dress like that white mermaid thing she wore when she won for La Vie En Rose.

10. The following women will be fashion disasters and I will love every minute of it: Cameron Diaz, Kristen Stewart (if she gets an invite this year - unless she's presenting, she might not even go), Hilary Swank, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Ellen Page (I want her to look awesome SO BAD, but her history is against her). The following women will look AMAZING: Kate Winslet, Helen Mirren, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Anna Kendrick, and Melissa Leo.