Things Michael Bay is really good at:
- Choreographing and filming elegant, exciting fight scenes where I can actually see what is going on
- Doing so with massive CGI robots that have tons of moving parts and robotic detail
- Making me care about said robots way more than I care about people
- Attracting big-name movie stars that give his destructo-fests a wonderful touch of class
- Incorporating 3D into a film in a way that not only doesn't make me want to claw my eyes out, but actually complements and elevates the film
Things Michael Bay is not good at:
- Making me care about Sam Witwicky or his replaceable sex icon girlfriend
- Editing
- Filming attractive women in a way that is not reminiscent of pornography
- Patching up plot holes
- Coming up with film names that don't suck
I had a TON of fun at Transformers: Dark of the Moon last night. It didn't really come close to the transcendent greatness of the first Transformers, but it was so far and away better than Revenge of the Fallen that I forgive it for that. Above are the highlights of my experience; allow me to elaborate a little bit for you.
The main problem with Fallen, in my opinion, was that it was too chaotic and unrestrained. There were too many bots, to much story that didn't fit together, too much going on. It all became a sort of mash-up of a movie, where everything blurred together and I was too busy trying to remember who exactly I was watching to really enjoy any of the explosions or high-octane action sequences. It lacked the much-needed control of the first film, which tempered the action and thus made the fight scenes that much more poignant.
Well, Dark of the Moon brings a lot of that back. The story is uncomplicated and (mostly) easy to follow, even though it's way too front heavy; the first hour is a twisting, over-complicated mess of human interest that doesn't actually bring anything of value to the film, considering later plot reveals. Shia LaBeouf, who I actually like quite a bit, is whittled down into a rage-spewing asshole for no reason I can see, now now accompanied by a new unbelievable sexpot girlfriend played by the wooden Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitely. At this point in the franchise, Bay really doesn't need to spend so much time with Sam - he was endeared to us with as the awkward, incidental-hero in the first film. We don't need to spend so much time being force fed that again, especially since, as I said, Sam's primary emotion seems to be "NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME" rage.
But oh, once we get to the heart of the story, the movie really takes off. Turns out the Decepticons are not only back, but they never really left - and we have a new ally prospected from the moon in the form of Sentinel Prime, voiced with all the gravely authority Leonard Nimoy can conjure up (hint: it's a lot). All the Autobots are back in fine form, and are more sympathetic and interesting to watch than any human onscreen. There are a few moments with the bots that are truly heart-rending, because of both this and Bay's peerless fight choreography, which is not only seriously great but comes along with some truly spectacular cinematography.
Bay has remembered why we're all sitting in the audience in the first place, and corrects another heinous error from Fallen: instead of bombarding us with robots whose names we're never given and who just clog up the screen, he focuses on the ones he's already made us care about. Yes, there are a whole shit-ton of bots in Moon, but most of them are background material. Also, instead of throwing a bunch of new robots onto the screen, he gives us a few of new key players (Sentinel Prime and Shockwave, most notably), and gives more screentime to Sideswipe, who I love (although the convertible look doesn't really suit him). Bay does lose track of Optimus' character toward the end, which in hindsight is a little disturbing but which I actually didn't think much of until later. He doesn't jive so well with the bot we met in Transformers, who was so hesitant to kill anything that he almost sacrificed himself for the cause, but he's had a couple years on Earth to ruminate. He's not the same character he was in the first film and it shows.
The movie is almost achingly long at 2 hours and 37 minutes, and I've already noted how a lot of that could have been fixed by axing the tedious, plodding bullshit in the opening acts. It also hurts to know that those sequences were kept in at the expense of later tidbits, which were then not wholly expunged; a few characters drop lines that don't make much sense, and there are obvious gaps in the climactic action sequence, where I suspect either bits that were planned for got cut or were never even filmed. They're not obvious, but they are distracting.
You know what else is distracting? The way Bay insists on filming Rosie like the camera is caressing her every. Single. Time. Megan Fox had one gratuitous scene in the previous films (checking Bumblebee's engine in Transformers, air-brushing the motorcycle in Fallen), but every time Rosie is onscreen it feels like we're suddenly in a porn flick. It makes me think two things: first, that Fox isn't full of complete shit when she talks about how Bay made her feel objectified and how uncomfortable she was during filming, and secondly, that she may have forced him to have some restraint when she was onscreen. Rosie, an underwear model, is undoubtedly more used to being displayed as a sex object, so I'm wondering if she just let Bay go to town because it was something she was already acclimated to. As a result, she's even less of a character than Fox was, and doesn't provide LaBeouf with someone semi-interesting to bounce off of.
The last thing I want to say is that all directors planning to make movies in 3D should take note of Moon. Not only does Bay incorporate 3D in a way that's not distracting, but it actually adds to the visual depth of the film. It's not a gimmick, it's an artistic tool - unlike the blurry, tacked on crap that I've pretty much come to expect from 3D films (Clash of the Titans, I am looking at you so hard right now).
The first Transformers still proves to have written a check it can't cash in the form of its sequels, but Dark of the Moon goes a long way towards correcting the sins of Revenge of the Fallen. At its best, it is a breath-taking visual achievement of surprising intensity that leaves you clutching your armrest as the action rolls over you. At its worst, it plods through its human characters' stories like an obligation. But it's got some tricks up its sleeves, and that last battle will leave you wide-eyed. Definitely worth seeing on the big screen.
- Choreographing and filming elegant, exciting fight scenes where I can actually see what is going on
- Doing so with massive CGI robots that have tons of moving parts and robotic detail
- Making me care about said robots way more than I care about people
- Attracting big-name movie stars that give his destructo-fests a wonderful touch of class
- Incorporating 3D into a film in a way that not only doesn't make me want to claw my eyes out, but actually complements and elevates the film
Things Michael Bay is not good at:
- Making me care about Sam Witwicky or his replaceable sex icon girlfriend
- Editing
- Filming attractive women in a way that is not reminiscent of pornography
- Patching up plot holes
- Coming up with film names that don't suck
I had a TON of fun at Transformers: Dark of the Moon last night. It didn't really come close to the transcendent greatness of the first Transformers, but it was so far and away better than Revenge of the Fallen that I forgive it for that. Above are the highlights of my experience; allow me to elaborate a little bit for you.
The main problem with Fallen, in my opinion, was that it was too chaotic and unrestrained. There were too many bots, to much story that didn't fit together, too much going on. It all became a sort of mash-up of a movie, where everything blurred together and I was too busy trying to remember who exactly I was watching to really enjoy any of the explosions or high-octane action sequences. It lacked the much-needed control of the first film, which tempered the action and thus made the fight scenes that much more poignant.
Well, Dark of the Moon brings a lot of that back. The story is uncomplicated and (mostly) easy to follow, even though it's way too front heavy; the first hour is a twisting, over-complicated mess of human interest that doesn't actually bring anything of value to the film, considering later plot reveals. Shia LaBeouf, who I actually like quite a bit, is whittled down into a rage-spewing asshole for no reason I can see, now now accompanied by a new unbelievable sexpot girlfriend played by the wooden Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitely. At this point in the franchise, Bay really doesn't need to spend so much time with Sam - he was endeared to us with as the awkward, incidental-hero in the first film. We don't need to spend so much time being force fed that again, especially since, as I said, Sam's primary emotion seems to be "NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME" rage.
But oh, once we get to the heart of the story, the movie really takes off. Turns out the Decepticons are not only back, but they never really left - and we have a new ally prospected from the moon in the form of Sentinel Prime, voiced with all the gravely authority Leonard Nimoy can conjure up (hint: it's a lot). All the Autobots are back in fine form, and are more sympathetic and interesting to watch than any human onscreen. There are a few moments with the bots that are truly heart-rending, because of both this and Bay's peerless fight choreography, which is not only seriously great but comes along with some truly spectacular cinematography.
Bay has remembered why we're all sitting in the audience in the first place, and corrects another heinous error from Fallen: instead of bombarding us with robots whose names we're never given and who just clog up the screen, he focuses on the ones he's already made us care about. Yes, there are a whole shit-ton of bots in Moon, but most of them are background material. Also, instead of throwing a bunch of new robots onto the screen, he gives us a few of new key players (Sentinel Prime and Shockwave, most notably), and gives more screentime to Sideswipe, who I love (although the convertible look doesn't really suit him). Bay does lose track of Optimus' character toward the end, which in hindsight is a little disturbing but which I actually didn't think much of until later. He doesn't jive so well with the bot we met in Transformers, who was so hesitant to kill anything that he almost sacrificed himself for the cause, but he's had a couple years on Earth to ruminate. He's not the same character he was in the first film and it shows.
The movie is almost achingly long at 2 hours and 37 minutes, and I've already noted how a lot of that could have been fixed by axing the tedious, plodding bullshit in the opening acts. It also hurts to know that those sequences were kept in at the expense of later tidbits, which were then not wholly expunged; a few characters drop lines that don't make much sense, and there are obvious gaps in the climactic action sequence, where I suspect either bits that were planned for got cut or were never even filmed. They're not obvious, but they are distracting.
You know what else is distracting? The way Bay insists on filming Rosie like the camera is caressing her every. Single. Time. Megan Fox had one gratuitous scene in the previous films (checking Bumblebee's engine in Transformers, air-brushing the motorcycle in Fallen), but every time Rosie is onscreen it feels like we're suddenly in a porn flick. It makes me think two things: first, that Fox isn't full of complete shit when she talks about how Bay made her feel objectified and how uncomfortable she was during filming, and secondly, that she may have forced him to have some restraint when she was onscreen. Rosie, an underwear model, is undoubtedly more used to being displayed as a sex object, so I'm wondering if she just let Bay go to town because it was something she was already acclimated to. As a result, she's even less of a character than Fox was, and doesn't provide LaBeouf with someone semi-interesting to bounce off of.
The last thing I want to say is that all directors planning to make movies in 3D should take note of Moon. Not only does Bay incorporate 3D in a way that's not distracting, but it actually adds to the visual depth of the film. It's not a gimmick, it's an artistic tool - unlike the blurry, tacked on crap that I've pretty much come to expect from 3D films (Clash of the Titans, I am looking at you so hard right now).
The first Transformers still proves to have written a check it can't cash in the form of its sequels, but Dark of the Moon goes a long way towards correcting the sins of Revenge of the Fallen. At its best, it is a breath-taking visual achievement of surprising intensity that leaves you clutching your armrest as the action rolls over you. At its worst, it plods through its human characters' stories like an obligation. But it's got some tricks up its sleeves, and that last battle will leave you wide-eyed. Definitely worth seeing on the big screen.
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